An artist and his/her…

22. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

Their art.
Lately i been in my creative zone.. rocking Eric Roberson’s “Could Hear Me” and it makes me thing about something that i have always wrestled with.

As an artist..I am obsessive a bit about my crafts, and I have been blessed to make it to this point, but at the cost of MUCH sacrifice

At this point of my artistic career and development.. I wonder what is the mark of ultimate sacrifice of your work.. I look at a situation like Heath Ledger and feel saddened that as an artist, his best work (Joker in Dark Knight) he’ll never himself see how his has stepped up the bar by his role.

Now not to sound all artsy and emo.. but people who aren’t artists dont understand that it’s not all glamour and glitz to being, in my case a lyricist..

Much is lost for the sake of constant improvement and attainment.. A shattered family life and not taking to committment at this time due to my career aspirations.. though it sounds so endearing, but the material that as fans you love comes at much emotional torture..

I have often wondered what happen if i had peace..would music be gone from me.. as music is my therapy for a lot.. I say things in music that i dont say to people about my own emotions.. go figure

Currently I wanna say thanks to all those that purchased “Me, This is” on itunes and that was psychological peanut buttery clusterfuck to finish ( 4 years, 2 deaths, 2 countries, 1 lost relationship later)
And as emotional as that album was, and how well it’s been received.. I push now to not become the male lyrical of a Keisha Cole (who sounds so depressing on most of her songs)

It is things like that and trying to find personal and professional, and spiritual leverage that make being an artist a constant struggle

Many of my constituents used to tell me a relationship in this business is a recipe for disaster..and i see how the can say that now.. cuz it’s the constant grind, the going out,, the networking, the rehearsing.. all that.

I look back at my past relationships and realize that my careers (architecture AND music) have indeed come first, which have made me a nut job a degree. As i reach another evolution in both.. the stakes get higher, and one wonders at what cost does new material come?

Then I listened to that song “Couldnt Hear Me” by Eric Roberson (go cop that) and it encapsulates metaphorically how I and many feel. One only wonders will the songs ever be understood.. or does the artist himself understand his or her own music.

So as I write this.. in the midst of  a myriad of music and design projects, I chase a dream that I have been running after for almost 15 years.. when does the finish line come in sight or your legs give out..

If you are an artist and relate.. feel free to add your commentary on the matter

N
out

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »