22. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

Their art.
Lately i been in my creative zone.. rocking Eric Roberson’s “Could Hear Me” and it makes me thing about something that i have always wrestled with.

As an artist..I am obsessive a bit about my crafts, and I have been blessed to make it to this point, but at the cost of MUCH sacrifice

At this point of my artistic career and development.. I wonder what is the mark of ultimate sacrifice of your work.. I look at a situation like Heath Ledger and feel saddened that as an artist, his best work (Joker in Dark Knight) he’ll never himself see how his has stepped up the bar by his role.

Now not to sound all artsy and emo.. but people who aren’t artists dont understand that it’s not all glamour and glitz to being, in my case a lyricist..

Much is lost for the sake of constant improvement and attainment.. A shattered family life and not taking to committment at this time due to my career aspirations.. though it sounds so endearing, but the material that as fans you love comes at much emotional torture..

I have often wondered what happen if i had peace..would music be gone from me.. as music is my therapy for a lot.. I say things in music that i dont say to people about my own emotions.. go figure

Currently I wanna say thanks to all those that purchased “Me, This is” on itunes and that was psychological peanut buttery clusterfuck to finish ( 4 years, 2 deaths, 2 countries, 1 lost relationship later)
And as emotional as that album was, and how well it’s been received.. I push now to not become the male lyrical of a Keisha Cole (who sounds so depressing on most of her songs)

It is things like that and trying to find personal and professional, and spiritual leverage that make being an artist a constant struggle

Many of my constituents used to tell me a relationship in this business is a recipe for disaster..and i see how the can say that now.. cuz it’s the constant grind, the going out,, the networking, the rehearsing.. all that.

I look back at my past relationships and realize that my careers (architecture AND music) have indeed come first, which have made me a nut job a degree. As i reach another evolution in both.. the stakes get higher, and one wonders at what cost does new material come?

Then I listened to that song “Couldnt Hear Me” by Eric Roberson (go cop that) and it encapsulates metaphorically how I and many feel. One only wonders will the songs ever be understood.. or does the artist himself understand his or her own music.

So as I write this.. in the midst of  a myriad of music and design projects, I chase a dream that I have been running after for almost 15 years.. when does the finish line come in sight or your legs give out..

If you are an artist and relate.. feel free to add your commentary on the matter

N
out

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13. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

In the midst of doing some brewing for new tunes and the like. It hit me

I oft reminisce on how I loved the music when I was a yute, and in my short time watching the music I am still in love with shift and change so much. In many ways though so have I have from almost 2o years (as well I should have changed, lol)

Getting older, and still in heavy pursuit of the music, though it’s very important to realize what got you in in the first place. Being in music can be compared to a long-term relationship, and if you get in the rhythm of a routine it gets boring.

As an artist.. it is a struggle to keep up with putting you in the music, plus keeping up with mechanics.. and  a whole buncha other jargon..

That is til you hear a song and it takes you someplace..

And it all comes back to you of why you love what it is you do.

Lately I had been getting bored again with the music. Just seems pedantic. People dont even try know more.. just make a jingle, a dance, some 808 kick drums.. some coonish lyrics and walla.. a new ringtone that looks for 3 minutes called a song

But the new Nas album, and new Cube material taking me back.. getting back to having lyrics AND good beats

Lot going on in the music.. when i first started loving this music.. cassettes where the shit!, then came cd’s now.. folks download

cheap, to expensive to free

Yet as trends, mediums, and the art change.. people are the same.. The constant variable in music that is necessary to create it.. People still struggle, smile, cry, fuck, eat, sleep, shit be political, be ganxta..and other things.. all of which are paramount to the interpretation of their ideals, and views through a harmonic/rhythmic medium we call music.

As a paradigm shift is slowing emerging in hip-hop from complete and utter b.s. to somewhat refined garbage.. i hope that we make it back to music.. at least on a consistent basis to the point that everyone can fall back in love with it again..

N

out

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8. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

Whoever thinks being a Black man is easy I say suffers from sincere delusional characteristics.

In light of the potential of an African-American male possibility becoming President of the United States (a.k.a. Leader of the Free World). I find it interesting to investigate peoples actions more and more.

The conundrum of the moment is interesting in that at the same time, concurrently violence amongst African-American youth is rising at a meteoric rate; even in this we see the diversity of character within our people.

Then there is the middle 80%. Those of us who struggle like all other Americans to make ends meet..like other men who seek to establish themselves and the like.

Yet, our presence is scary.. still
What then if and when Barack becomes President? Will those pseudo-liberal types who are quick to say that they have Black friends, be slower to lock the door or make other prejudice assumptions and comments?

Every day, I wonder what is gonna be the climate upon the day he wins.
Many feel that an attempt would be made on his life by hardcore racists who will stop at nothing to ensure a Black man never becomes president. I say that wont happen, because the stakes are higher than just one man.

I feel that if that happens civil unrest will unleash itself in such a way to make the Civil Rights riots look like practice. We of this generation do not subscribe to the non-violent tenets of our parents.. we more so relate to Malcolm X and that would not be good for anyone physically, emotionally, economically and so on.

And yet.. i find myself becoming the sociologist to observe people as this progresses.. and one dynamic i find interesting is that as many champion Barack of all colors I find it that seem as not quite Black in an Egypt-isnt-part-of-Africa kind of way.

If anyone has seen the movie “Do The Right Thing” directed by Spike Lee, there is a scene where Spike Lee is asking one of the Italian brothers who work at the pizzeria, who are is favorite basketball players, actor, etc. He answers by mentioning noted and accomplished African-Americans such as Michael Jordan… but he says they are different…

I get the feeling folks are gonna say the same about Barack…

N
out

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8. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

Hello World..

This is your truly Nizm.. and hoping to kick off what I’d like to think of as a weekly installment of chat chitting with the good folks of internet land.

First off big up to RGM staff.. and for those who don’t know.. YES my album is available on Itunes..

So with that said.. I say welcome and check back regularly for updates on shows music and just good stuff regarding me.. The N guy

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