26. December 2008 by Big Nizm.

The beautiful words belted by Etta James in her infamous song..

A note I graciously, and tearfully said  Dec 19, 2008. Five years of academic madness rendered completed via graduation! Thank you Jesus. As events would have it, indeed charged with emotion, it was surreal in many a sense! Indeed the bittersweet was there but more so overwhelmed by the moment of finally completing my Master’s degree! Masters of Science in Real Estate to be exact! Looking back on where this journey began in a different country on Sept 1, 2003, indeed much as changed. As I close that chapter finally, new beginnings present new challenges for the man as well as the artist!  Though I have been through much.. it is only a few steps in the walk of life! After celebration, comes work, and it will be interesting to see what the future holds! Thank you sincerely everyone on the well-wishes and congratulatory gestures. They have been  humbly and greatly appreciated. Now new courses shall be charted and new goals to be reached.

N

out

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7. September 2008 by Big Nizm.

Sup world.
Gotta be brief this time…
Im back in school.. 3 months til my 1st Masters!

And I am RE-RELEASING a very special project.
For those that know, my 3rd Album was entitled The Exodus
The premise behind it was me leaving Chicago
The album was a large project but never REALLY saw the light of day
Coming by Late Oct/Early Nov I will be re-releasing the album. Re-mastered with some bonuses on the RGM imprint.

As well new developments on the arising of which i will be keeping  folk posted

N
out

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20. August 2008 by Big Nizm.

An interesting topic.. a lot of folk i have been blessed to know.

Close friends, frat brothers, line brothers.. musical associates, business associates and the like.. I find myself looking at the former relic of self. Seeing as that I define myself pre my mother’s passing and post.. I look and see how life-changing events reveal self to self.

Over time this event was the biggest cross i had to bare and from it I am learning what it is.

However after laying on someone’s couch and telling him why i though i was a couple of sandwiches short of picnic a few years ago i began a long journey of introspection and walking into the deep recesses of my mind to see where I have come from.

Indeed a dark place but blessed

to be under 30 I have had a busy life

A black male into architecture!

A lyricist

Once a father..those who know me know the implications of that

A mentor/mentee

and many things….

Post trauma

Once a father….

An Alpha

A mentor

A skater

A man

amidst this travel it is key to see past points again to reflect. All this and more compose the artist Nizm who in the end is another part of me.

Though I wrestle with the person that was once me say Summer of 2003 vs the Nizm of now has the previous was more optimistic I have learned that it is no need regretting as we are forged to be come what we are destined.. even if WE ourselves question it.

N

out

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14. August 2008 by Big Nizm.

In light of Barack Obama’s presidential run, there are those that think that racism has finally taken it’s last dance. For those that say that.. i say stop sniffing crystallized piss pellets.

My other career is architecture for those that dont know (yes  Black people can do more than lay bricks, we can lay the plans:) I have been in this career since 16 when i got my first gig on my own by looking up firms in the phone book. I have wanted to be an architect since 13.

Since then I have dealt with things that most folks would cringe if they knew, but it’s the nature of the beast.  This profession I have a love/hate relationship with has maybe 2300 LICENSED Black architects in THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES!
(FYI 10% ARE WOMEN, IE 230) So indeed this is a league of it’s own
My goal is to get licensed, but it just seems that maybe im too damn uppity for my own good

Case in point
I have a boss at my current spot. He’s admitted being a “former” racist. I admire him for his brevity but for some reason former is not as past as I thought
Of late we have been going at it like Israelis and Palestinians over the Gaza Strip.

Now, as an intern architect, which is my professional designation (LONG STORY) i work under him to help him get the drawings done and so on and so forth.. This guy admitted to me that hes NEVER had anyone work under him before and he wanted it to be a good experience.. fine I have a management background as well, so i figured i could help him manage and he help me become a better architect.
SWEET!
HOWEVER, he is NOT licensed, just been around longer than me, but still by professsional designation a intern architect as well

He has a way of saying some underhanded subtle shit that well makes the Samuel L Jackson come out of the most Robert Townsend of men.

I.E. 2 Days go.. im eating lunch in the office (Which is VERY RARE FOR ME, CUZ ON LUNCH I LIKE TO GET AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE) i am reading a book about my fraternity… He walks in and says (OH WOW, YOU CAN REAAD!!!)
Now Black folks and other in myspace land.. i know what you are thinking.. He lost his rabbit ass mind.. indeed. I just shot him the Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction look, and he left.

YESTERDAY
I get a text from cnn.com about the Arkansas Democratic Chairman who was shot and killed.. I tell him in the midst of our bosses and he goes and i quote “What he killed in a drive-by?” Now.. some way say Nizm.. ur being too damn sensitive.. and i’ll by that for a dollar.. HOWEVER given that even though this guy must have watched Banging in Little Rock  it was quite assumptive that just he got SHOT it had to be a BLACK person by ANOTHER BLACK person
last i checked it was not BLACK folks who run the NRA (That was my BOONDOCKS moment scuse me)

Now my boss i think is also spazzing cuz I am gonna finish my Masters by years end. At the moment he’s the only one in the office with a Masters to my knowledge.
And part of me wonders does that bother him. Yeah im young, Black, educated and ambitious.. and NO I dont want to work under ANYONE.
I get the feeling im stepping out of his comfort zone

So today
i get there.. mind you i been doing 12 hour days all week. and i get yelled at cuz CTA fucks me.. and he then met the N guy
yes i snapped on him. I went quite belligerent and then he tucked his tail tween his legs rushing off for a meeting
Now granted my language was quite profane.. but I dont take well to a white man calling me on my cell phone telling me to get ASS here cuz you got work to do, BEFORE the time im supposed to come in. I am doing the work HE fucked up.

But as far as doing anything right.. of course not
No credit where credit is due
and it comes with being Black in this profession

However there comes a time as a man, that enough is enough
I stand on the shoulders of the men before me in this profession and I strive to go further, however, though I do subscribe to the tenets of the BROTHER Martin Luther King.. I can get quite Malcolm X when necessary

psuedo liberals indeed run rampant.

SO I end by saying this.
Being a Black educated man in 2008 is more dangerous then ANY mission in the military
and we are few and far between
For those that I share this rare air with, my prayers are with you Brethen
For those that dont understand.. listen and learn
RACISM IS ALIVE IN WELL IN 2008!!!
N
out

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22. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

Their art.
Lately i been in my creative zone.. rocking Eric Roberson’s “Could Hear Me” and it makes me thing about something that i have always wrestled with.

As an artist..I am obsessive a bit about my crafts, and I have been blessed to make it to this point, but at the cost of MUCH sacrifice

At this point of my artistic career and development.. I wonder what is the mark of ultimate sacrifice of your work.. I look at a situation like Heath Ledger and feel saddened that as an artist, his best work (Joker in Dark Knight) he’ll never himself see how his has stepped up the bar by his role.

Now not to sound all artsy and emo.. but people who aren’t artists dont understand that it’s not all glamour and glitz to being, in my case a lyricist..

Much is lost for the sake of constant improvement and attainment.. A shattered family life and not taking to committment at this time due to my career aspirations.. though it sounds so endearing, but the material that as fans you love comes at much emotional torture..

I have often wondered what happen if i had peace..would music be gone from me.. as music is my therapy for a lot.. I say things in music that i dont say to people about my own emotions.. go figure

Currently I wanna say thanks to all those that purchased “Me, This is” on itunes and that was psychological peanut buttery clusterfuck to finish ( 4 years, 2 deaths, 2 countries, 1 lost relationship later)
And as emotional as that album was, and how well it’s been received.. I push now to not become the male lyrical of a Keisha Cole (who sounds so depressing on most of her songs)

It is things like that and trying to find personal and professional, and spiritual leverage that make being an artist a constant struggle

Many of my constituents used to tell me a relationship in this business is a recipe for disaster..and i see how the can say that now.. cuz it’s the constant grind, the going out,, the networking, the rehearsing.. all that.

I look back at my past relationships and realize that my careers (architecture AND music) have indeed come first, which have made me a nut job a degree. As i reach another evolution in both.. the stakes get higher, and one wonders at what cost does new material come?

Then I listened to that song “Couldnt Hear Me” by Eric Roberson (go cop that) and it encapsulates metaphorically how I and many feel. One only wonders will the songs ever be understood.. or does the artist himself understand his or her own music.

So as I write this.. in the midst of  a myriad of music and design projects, I chase a dream that I have been running after for almost 15 years.. when does the finish line come in sight or your legs give out..

If you are an artist and relate.. feel free to add your commentary on the matter

N
out

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13. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

In the midst of doing some brewing for new tunes and the like. It hit me

I oft reminisce on how I loved the music when I was a yute, and in my short time watching the music I am still in love with shift and change so much. In many ways though so have I have from almost 2o years (as well I should have changed, lol)

Getting older, and still in heavy pursuit of the music, though it’s very important to realize what got you in in the first place. Being in music can be compared to a long-term relationship, and if you get in the rhythm of a routine it gets boring.

As an artist.. it is a struggle to keep up with putting you in the music, plus keeping up with mechanics.. and  a whole buncha other jargon..

That is til you hear a song and it takes you someplace..

And it all comes back to you of why you love what it is you do.

Lately I had been getting bored again with the music. Just seems pedantic. People dont even try know more.. just make a jingle, a dance, some 808 kick drums.. some coonish lyrics and walla.. a new ringtone that looks for 3 minutes called a song

But the new Nas album, and new Cube material taking me back.. getting back to having lyrics AND good beats

Lot going on in the music.. when i first started loving this music.. cassettes where the shit!, then came cd’s now.. folks download

cheap, to expensive to free

Yet as trends, mediums, and the art change.. people are the same.. The constant variable in music that is necessary to create it.. People still struggle, smile, cry, fuck, eat, sleep, shit be political, be ganxta..and other things.. all of which are paramount to the interpretation of their ideals, and views through a harmonic/rhythmic medium we call music.

As a paradigm shift is slowing emerging in hip-hop from complete and utter b.s. to somewhat refined garbage.. i hope that we make it back to music.. at least on a consistent basis to the point that everyone can fall back in love with it again..

N

out

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8. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

Whoever thinks being a Black man is easy I say suffers from sincere delusional characteristics.

In light of the potential of an African-American male possibility becoming President of the United States (a.k.a. Leader of the Free World). I find it interesting to investigate peoples actions more and more.

The conundrum of the moment is interesting in that at the same time, concurrently violence amongst African-American youth is rising at a meteoric rate; even in this we see the diversity of character within our people.

Then there is the middle 80%. Those of us who struggle like all other Americans to make ends meet..like other men who seek to establish themselves and the like.

Yet, our presence is scary.. still
What then if and when Barack becomes President? Will those pseudo-liberal types who are quick to say that they have Black friends, be slower to lock the door or make other prejudice assumptions and comments?

Every day, I wonder what is gonna be the climate upon the day he wins.
Many feel that an attempt would be made on his life by hardcore racists who will stop at nothing to ensure a Black man never becomes president. I say that wont happen, because the stakes are higher than just one man.

I feel that if that happens civil unrest will unleash itself in such a way to make the Civil Rights riots look like practice. We of this generation do not subscribe to the non-violent tenets of our parents.. we more so relate to Malcolm X and that would not be good for anyone physically, emotionally, economically and so on.

And yet.. i find myself becoming the sociologist to observe people as this progresses.. and one dynamic i find interesting is that as many champion Barack of all colors I find it that seem as not quite Black in an Egypt-isnt-part-of-Africa kind of way.

If anyone has seen the movie “Do The Right Thing” directed by Spike Lee, there is a scene where Spike Lee is asking one of the Italian brothers who work at the pizzeria, who are is favorite basketball players, actor, etc. He answers by mentioning noted and accomplished African-Americans such as Michael Jordan… but he says they are different…

I get the feeling folks are gonna say the same about Barack…

N
out

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8. July 2008 by Big Nizm.

Hello World..

This is your truly Nizm.. and hoping to kick off what I’d like to think of as a weekly installment of chat chitting with the good folks of internet land.

First off big up to RGM staff.. and for those who don’t know.. YES my album is available on Itunes..

So with that said.. I say welcome and check back regularly for updates on shows music and just good stuff regarding me.. The N guy

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